feelings of the heart..

I got a feeling this might become the diary I never wrote..started a few times but never wrote more than a year before I lost interest..if that's the case I should write about everything from the embarrassing moments to my inner thoughts and feelings, because who knows maybe not more than a handful of people reads this..
It's strange that something like a TV show..."The Bachelorette" if I must admit...can make you feel a sense of longing for something you don't have..It's TV I know but in that moment it made me realize that I miss the passion and the excitement that comes with being in love. It's been quite a while and makes me want to be in that state of mind again..feeling butterflies and smiling constantly, doing those little things to make the other person happy and always having that someone to look forward to seeing and spending time with.
Romance..that's the word, who doesn't want that? But romance doesn't knock on your door on Sunday morning. You gotta put yourself out there with an open mind and with a heart ready to embrace..
Dating can be tricky either you chose the bar scene or the internet...so many possibilities..and a few rotten apples, wierdos and more to sort through..
Speed dating, internet dating, minglers and blind dates..I've tried them all.. results: broken heart, some crazy stories, very good friendships and many life lessons while learning a few things about myself.
More to come soon...gotta sleep a little and let my mind get a break..zzzzzz

Another weekend is over..again..

It's incredible how short a weekend is...you look forward to it all weeks so you can finally sleep in or let your hair out..whatever it may be.

My weekend didn't exactly go as planned..but I guess that's normally how it goes..
I planned to try shopping for furnitures and things for my balcony...my last apartment didn't have that, so for years I've been wanting that and now I got a small balcony that I can't really enjoy before I get some chairs and a table out there. That was the first thing I didn't get done..and more..

To my surprise I got to spend all Friday until the wee hours of the night with my sister, watching TV, drinking wine, eating lots of candy and chatting. I don't get to see her as much as I would like even though she lives only a few minutes away so I enjoyed every minute of it...family is important and she's my only sister.

I got a late start on Saturday and it was gray and raining outside. I have a cold and slept in late feeling very lazy. I managed to get out in the afternoon to run some errands and to have a late lunch at a Italian restaurant close to where I live..the only meal of that day, if I don't count the homemade kiwi-vanilla milkshake that I promised not to reveal the secret to ( it come out a lot better than I expected, you would haven known if you knew what non traditional ingredient that was used...LOL)
The TV for my bedroom came out of the box and the story goes that Saturday night was spent in bed watching movies on Netflix..I'm back to having a TV in my bedroom and things do fall back in place, he he..

So my weekend filled with planned errands and dating didn't happened...I guess I just needed a slow weekend to rest from a long week and feeling under the weather. I just have to make time for the things I didn't do sometime next week. I figure I'm not the best company if I'm not feeling my best and today proved that since I ended up spending most of the afternoon sleeping on the couch.

I got good news from a friend today that she's pregnant and I'm happy for her..glad to hear that things worked out for her. It seems like most of my friends are in relationships or getting pregnant these days while I'm lacking a little in the dates department..don't get me wrong I don't mind being single and wouldn't settle with the wrong guy..but maybe I'm doing something wrong or it's not in my card to meet Mr. Right yet?? It's been some years since my last relationship and looking back at most of the relationships I've been in they were more or less "dead end relationships"...giving so much and getting so little in return drained me but I haven't given up yet..I would love to be the best thing that have walked into a man's life..or is that maybe too much to ask for? And maybe get appreciated too?? We women need more than just sex, we also need companionship and affection.
I have been in relationships where there was no affection at all or in other relationships with kissing, holding hands ++, in public and at home. People are different and have different needs but having sex with someone who would hug but not kiss you, what does that make you? It makes me wonder how someone wants to get naked and intimate but not wanting to kiss? It reminds me of "Pretty Woman"..that could make you feel like you're only good for sex.. Just like some guys gets upset when you don't wanna kiss on a first date..I only did that once and needless to say that was the first guy I feel in love with. What guy would want  a woman that kiss  almost every guy they meet, have sex on a first date or have many one-night stands? I have higher morals than that and it sure doesn't make me prude..maybe old fashioned?
Now I'm rambling on and on and one thought creates another when I should be sleeping..so it's time to say goodnight...sleep well everyone!

This wasn't the plan..taking more than a week to write..surprising to me I seem to be busier here than I thought possible. I thought I be bored with to much time to spare and no one to do things with...but I'm pleased that I'm wrong. It's true that I tend to get restless at times and that I want people around me almost all the time, maybe I think my own company is too boring?? If I have a lot to do then then I won't have time to look back and missing my old life and friends.
So what's being going on since last post? Let me see..Twice to the movies: "Martha Marcy May Marlene" and "Snow White and The Huntsman"..none of them very good, a work related Summer Party, looking at apartments with a friend of mine, a Date, a work weekend, dining out, installing a dimmer for my living room ceiling lamp, New To Oslo Pub Night, InterNations rooftop get-together...and more everyday happenings.
I did buy a TV for the bedroom...being used to that for 14 years made it impossible to break that habit...ahh, how I miss watching movies in bed and being lazy on weekends while watching tv without having to get out of bed...I know it's lame but those little things can make everything better.
The weekend is around the corner and can't wait to sleep in, feeling like I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. That's how it goes when I can't sit still and rather be running out having all the fun that I can make time for..no time for boredom.. LOL

It's passed midnight and like always I'm not asleep...do I ever learn? No...
A long weekend is over where a very dear friend came to visit.We had many long talks over good food and wine..catching up on life since last time we got to have some quality girlfriend time looking at old pictures and remembering fun times...but it's funny how I tend to forget so many details from my past and friends keep refreshing my bad memory.
Having an awesome time with someone you haven't seen in over 10 years and once you do it feels like yesterday..all the lost time disappears and you realize what a great friend that person is :-)
I also had a 2 1/2 phone conversation with another old friend and it made me realize (once again) that all my close friends live so far away, but they sill live close in my heart..and I just have to make sure I see them more often because they are my true family!
I went to see "Prometheus".. not that good but still a good way to end a great weekend..milk chocolate and male company makes any movie better..LOL..better luck in choosing a movie next time.
Exhausted but content, tired, feeling a little empty and lonely while listening to the rain outside..but time to say good night and hoping for an eventful week!

Today's thoughts are about friendship:

A best friend is a sister destiny forgot to give you..
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway..
Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure..
The only way to have a friend is to be one..
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked..
Friends are needed both for joy and for sorrow..
A friend is a present you give yourself..
Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends..
A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have..
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there..
Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart..
True friendship never ends..    
 
"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
 

Recipe: Chocolate Cinnamon Bread

It's true. Chocolate Cinnamon Bread's brief return has already passed. But don't dismay. Follow the recipe below to make it at home whenever the craving strikes. We’ve doubled the measurements because, let’s be honest, one loaf just isn’t enough.
Ingredients (makes two loaves):
Chocolate Batter –

• 3 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature
• 3 cups granulated sugar
• 5 large eggs at room temperature
• 2 cups flour
• 1 ¼ cup dutch processed cocoa
• 1 tbsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp salt
• ½ tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp baking soda
• 1 cup buttermilk
• ¼ cup water
• 1 tsp vanilla

Cocoa Spice Topping –

• ¼ cup granulated sugar
• ¾ tsp cinnamon
• ½ tsp dutch processed cocoa
• Pinch of ground ginger
• Pinch of ground cloves
• ¼ cup sparkle sugar (for decorating)

Step 1 – Preheat oven to 350 F. Grab two 9 x 5 x 3 loaf pans and line with parchment paper.
Step 2 – To mix the batter you’ll start with the butter and sugar. Mix these in an electric mixer until light and creamy, around 5 minutes. Then add the eggs, one at a time, mixing until each is fully incorporated. You may need to scrape down the sides of the bowl a few times to get them fully mixed in.
Step 3 – Grab another bowl and sift together flour, cocoa, cinnamon, salt, baking powder and baking soda. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, water and vanilla. With your mixer on a low speed, begin adding the contents of each bowl to the butter mixture, alternating between the two until your mixture is fully blended, but not overly whipped. Then split your batter between the two pans. If your batter is slightly uneven, you can lightly shake the pan to even out the tops.
Step 4 – My favorite step, and the easiest part of the recipe, make your topping. Just combine the sugar, cinnamon, cocoa, ginger and cloves. Then evenly layer the decorating sugar over your batter, followed by the spice mixture.
Step 5 – Finally, bake for 45-50 minutes.

Rain, rain and more rain...makes change in plans..no outdoors today but spending the afternoon inside with my long time friend, old coworker and classmate visiting from my hometown, Trondheim...catching up on old times.
It's so true that times flies when you're having fun :-)

Love sunsets..

YAY!!!
I'm blogging...
Excited to share my thoughts and new bits & pieces of my past and future..in words and pictures..uncensored...